Telenovelas in English? hmmm...

Ok so yes, it is my birthday tommorow. YAY! And yes it does seem like many of my adoring fans do seem to know me. Maybe it's because I'm so personable in my posts. Just a thought. Fox decided yesterday that they can't be outdone by CW so they decided to start a new network called My Network TV based on Spanish telenovelas. Yes, there will be telenovelas but in English which totally combats the point I think plus isn't that just a really bad soap opera with names like Luis and Maria. Racist maybe but true yes. I think Fox just wants more money. They should be focusing their resources on the shows that are currently on their networks. That's all I have to say for now but everyone should wish me a happy birthday tommorow haha, yes I am that self-absorbed. Just kidding...sorta.

What is with these teen queens?

The claws are out among the teen queens. My Nyquil hasn't kicked in yet and therefore I'm informing you of these once innocent girls or at least some of them are innocent that are now basically bitches. Lindsay Lohan no longer wants to be referred to as a teen queen. She feels that she is taking more mature roles and basically becoming a more mature person and that the title no longer fits her. Well Lindsay, when you do immature things like do drugs and pole dance with Kate Moss in a bar and well just think it's so unfair that you're being portrayed that way then you know you will be referred to as a teen queen. If she thinks addiction is what has made her more mature than this once cute parent trapped red head is sadly mistaken.

Paris Hilton and Mischa Barton are reportedly fighting. Mischa made a comment about Paris is a boyfriend stealer and Paris is insisting that it's just not true. I mean ya Paris you did steal Rick Solomon and Stavros Niarchos but you're right that doesn't make you a boyfriend stealer. What was Mischa thinking? Mischa responded by saying that she's only met Paris twice and that there is no rivalry between the two. Maybe it's just that Paris hasn't gotten into a fight in a while or been in the news and had to come up with something.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen were reportedly very cranky when they landed in Australia. They didn't want photographers to take pictures of them and said that they don't like having pictures taken when they're not working. They also commented on the fact that it's a huge responsibility to be considered role models and that they don't consider themselves that. Well they are role models and since it's their fans that have made them SOOOO rich they better well live up to the title. Also I believe that once you're a celebrity you deserve to have your picture taken, bad excuses twins.

These Teen Queens need to reflect on their lives and realize that if they continue to act like the biatches they're made out to be not only will they not be thought of as Teen Queens but that title might be replaced with Hasbin? Just a little word of advice ladies. Check back soon.

Lisa Marie and Elizabeth Taylor are quickly becoming two of a kind...

Lisa Marie is quickly gaining the marriage status of Elizabeth Taylor who was married eight times, twice to the same man. Lisa Marie tied the knot for the fourth time to Michael Lockwood who is a guitarist in her band and a music producer. Presley has previously been married to Nicholas Cage, Michael Jackson (I know what the hell was she thinking) and Danny Keough who is the father of her daughter Riley. Hopefully this one will last and hopefully she won't marry the same guy twice like Elizabeth Taylor because that means Michael Jackson could get another chance and let's just say it all together now... ew!
Nick Lachey is seeking spousal support from Jessica Simpson because he has no career and was only famous for being married to her. You'd think he would have fought harder to save that marriage then. It was already decided in court that Lachey wouldn't recieve alimony but the file for support has just been made. I'm sure Jessica is laughing away at this. News that Jessica has been cheating on Nick with Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine for the past year was reported in US Weekly. I don't think this girl is as dumb as everyone makes her out to be. She got to have an affair which was kept quiet, she's capitalized on her supposed idiocy and she's pretty damn rich. She gives a whole new meaning to "dumb blonde."
Chris Martin reportedly has hinted at a Coldplay split. He was quoted saying that "We got to go. People are fed up with us, and so are we." Could Gwyneth be the cause of this, dare I say we have another Yoko on our hands.
News about Nicole Kidman's wedding to Keith Urban has been flying around for the past couple weeks but I just have one question when did they EVER announce their engagement? I think that needs to come first.
That's all the news I have for now. Check back soon and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!

Car Crashes, Break-ups and models...Celebrities are back with a fresh new attack!

Rumors have recently surfaced that creepy couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have broken up but these rumors have been adamantly denied. So Tom Cruise totally gave Katie Holmes a frontal lobotomy for sure. This girl was so sweet and innocent as Joey Potter and then so normal in her relationship with Chris Klein so why the sudden change. The invasive brain surgery is the only answer in my opinion. That baby is going to end up really screwed up and brain-washed like his mother. One day we're going to hear about a kid that escaped from a cult and it's going to be the Cruise-Holmes baby. It's the scientology people, I'm just saying... So, Shannon Doherty good job with another car crash. The first one involved a DUI because Shannon is quite the problem person. Caused problems on 90210 causing her to longer be on the show, then she screwed Aaron Spelling over again by leaving Charmed after one season. Let's not forget her famed fight with Paris Hilton over scuzzy Rick Solomon. I spotted the two of them last year almost to the day at Malibu's Nobu looking quite cuddly. I don't think it's to presumptuous to say that I think alcohol might be involved in this crash too. The Olsen twins are the faces of Badgley-Mischka's add. Looking quite adult and not bulimic or anorexic at all, the twins actually look like they're moving forward except for oh wait the fact that they're kinda screwed up and they have done nothing but look cute their entire lives. Oh snap! Paris Hilton was doused with flour at fashion week by animal rights protestors because she claims to be an animal lover with her overexposed animals and yet wears fur. What I have to say to that is go away Paris , we don't care, you have done nothing to be famous and don't even deserve to have flour thrown at you. Bitter maybe but come on now. Bring Lindsay back, at least this trouble starter has a career. That's all I have today but if celebrities keep this up I'll be reporting again soon.

I guess we weren't ready for a female president after all...

Geena Davis, you have been impeached. Like the TV maven I am, I think I rival Kristin Veitch just without all the resources I predicted way back when that Commander in Chief would be off the air shortly. After all the delays and the hiatuses finally the show was canceled. I think the main problem was that Geena Davis is really a man so the whole female president aspect just wasn't working. Ouch! Even I know that hurts but oh well.
Also, talk about overexposed, Brittany Spears is now joining Mardi Gras festivities. She's going to be part of the Good Morning America show on February 28th. I think she needs an image makeover before she goes onto any TV show. We don't need to see that trailer trash or as my favorite actress Valerie Cherish used to say, "I don't need to see that!"
Celebrity of a different kind but it makes me feel really good to know that my Vice-President shot someone. Thats pretty awesome if you ask me.
Thats all the news I have for now but check back soon!

Mariah Carey, you have enough money so buy a dress that fits!

So the Grammy's happened at that awards show should just really not happen anymore. I mean if Mariah Carey is winning Grammy's still then come on now, lets be serious. This girl can't even buy a dress that looks like it could partially cover her. And she's been capitalizing on her ability to carry that one high obnoxious note for like 10 years. It's enough. She walked away with three Grammy's including Best R&B vocal, Best R&B album and Best R&B song for We Belong Together. That is way to many Grammys for her to win. Also U2 might be talented and everything but they are to old to be winning the this many as well. Let's give a shout-out to Kanye fromnow on! Oprah is zooming into satellite radio, another person who really doesn't need the press or recognition. She has way to much money and come on we really don't need to hear her anymore than we already do. OK so my blog is so not cooperating right now so I'm going to stop for now and post later. Please if you read this, comment I want to know who has been reading just don't be a douche like some other people who read this. Thanks!

Britney Be a Good Mama...

Britney Spears was recently seen driving in the parking lot of a coffee shop with her son Sean Preston sitting on her lap. Spears claims that she removed her son from his carseat when she felt that the Paparazzi were getting to close for comfort. Her body guard had left the car to get coffee for Britney and she feared for her safety so she drove with Sean Preston on her lap to a safer location. She claims that she loves her son and would do nothing to harm him.
Turns out Ben Affleck might be going back to his old partying ways. Reports have put him in three different states partying with strippers. Affleck's reps have denied that fact that he's been anywhere but LA and that he's happy at home with his wife and daughter. I personally think that Ben his probably going back to his old ways, his bachelor lifestyle was just too good to him.
Not a lot of news to report on right now but hopefully there will be more soon and I'll update in the next couple of days. And BigDaddyLebowski, you're my favorite reader...

Melrose Place couples are dropping like flies...

First of all, I need to start off by saying that a lot of entertainment news is gossiped based. Before reading a story that is entertainment related one has to realize that some aspects of it might not be true or that the truth is stretched. For those of you who read my blog and question what I'm saying and claim that you heard differently then fine, you might have, we might not be using the same sources but if it is such a problem and offensive to you then please don't read it. In the case of Jodie Sweetin, I have no ignorance about eating disorders or drug addictions, there is some stuff that I probably don't know but I have never claimed to know everything. I was just restating what I had found. Mike Hundt, your name is what is sophmoric, you have created the problem and if you think that what I'm writing is so hackneyed and bad then do me a favor and don't read it. You are a douche and I hope that I do keep offending you so hopefully I can do that today. Mia Horbagg, maybe you should go hook-up with Mike Hundt because he's wound so tight, I think that's the only way for him to blow off steam. Lastly, Jack Brojack if you had actually taken the time to read my blog before commenting you would realize that I never once claimed that Jodie Sweetin had an eating disorder, the title was referring to the eating disorder that Mary-Kate Olsen had. And please, the Galleria is my turf, do not act like you know everything that happens there. Oh and ClaireC I'm glad that you like what I'm writing and that you miss me but you do know I have no idea who you are.
Now onto the show, Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora are getting divorced. This is the second divorce for a Melrose Place actor in the last week. It was something about that apartment complex that gets people in trouble. Locklear was previously married to Tommy Lee Jones but that was short lasting thank god. That goes on her list of "what the hell was I thinking?" Heather has been known as the show saver for quite some time. She came out to Melrose Place as the vixen and changed the ratings around and did the same with Spin City. I know that there are definetly some shows that need the Locklear. Another couple that just announced their split is Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong. They had been engaged for a little over five months and dating for two years. They came out as a couple shortly after Armstrong divorced his wife with whom he has three kids. Thats all the news I have right now but check back soon because celebrities are always causing some kind of drama to report on!

Eating disorders, meth addicts...what kind of Full House was this?

Usually I don't post this often, the news has just been too good lately not to. For those of you who don't recognize this picture, it would be Jodie Sweetin, Jodie Sweetin who played sweet little Stephanie Tanner on Full House. Two years ago Jodie was feeling rather bored so she thought it would be a good idea to start experimenting with Meth. Good idea? I believe so. For two years she has been battling a meth addiction. An intervention was staged including John Stamos and the Olsen twins. Maybe she just started doing drugs so she could see the Olsens, I mean they are a big deal now. She is now getting a divorce from her police officer husband whom she married when she was twenty. Why was the Full House so messed up?
Britney Spears will be guest-starring on Will and Grace soon playing a Christian Conservative which is almost like saying that I am Jesus. Britney is a trashy whore now. It's something about Kevin or Popozao as he likes to be called that turns people into trash. I mean look at Shar Jackson.
Also I know that J.Lo has been married to Marc for the longest of all her gazillion husbands but they are working together in a new movie called El Cantante and since Gigli was such a good relationship move for her and Ben, she better be damn secure in her relationship because if this movie tanks like her last relationship movie she'll be back in divorce court before Ebert and Roper give her new movie two thumbs down, even though it could be good. I haven't heard enough to formulate a good opinion. Also, Lindsay Lohan was recently injured. She cut her leg when she slipped and broke a teacup. It didn't damper her night though, she was later spotted at a club. I think she just needs to lay low for a while. I'm sure she slipped from some cocaine which I know she did or some alcohol. Lindsay, if you don't want to be in the press, don't go out! It's ridiculous! Ok, thats it for today. Check back soon!