For the love of god, call child services!

Who wouldn't want to be pregnant and in jail for a DUI? Well we no Nicole Richie could really care less. It is a sad, sad day for me to have to actually acknowledge that Nicole Richie is pregnant!!!!!!! I, despite much flack have always been a big Nicole fan. From the heroin addicted chubby Nicole to the chubby rehabed Simple Life sidekick to the anorexic Paris hater, I've been through it all with her, always cheering her along but...now I am just in a state of distress. How can she be caught driving drunk and on vicodin the wrong way now that she's pregnant?!?! How selfish! And really also what child wouldn't want these two for parents. I'm sure Diane Sawyer is holding back with every ounce of will power to not scream at how stupid they are both being. I mean please abortion hasn't been banned yet! (or ever hopefully) But I mean come on, how stupid is she. Last week she was avoiding going to court and how she's four months along. I just don't even have words for how upset with her I am. I can't really aspire to be exactly like her now, trying to be anorexic was so much easier than achieving baby bump success.

Another troubled mother would have to be Ms. Britney Spears. Now that her divorce with K-Fed is final I predict the duo will be battling it out in court once again but this time for custody. I actually hope for the kids' sake that K-Fed gets them. For those of you who haven't purchased and read OK! magazine, first of all stop reading right now and go buy it, but I digress, the magazine basically trashes Britney. She was supposed to be scheduled for a tell all complete with photo shoot but the bitch went crazy, stole some dresses, had a fit and ran out before the interview was over. Apparently she had the same break down at her video shoot for which she shelled out all the cash. She is on a fast downward spiral that appears as though it will only end badly. Somebody needs to grab that girl by her cheap weave and drag her to the nearest rehab clinic complete with 24 psychiatry care.

Okay, I'm too upset over Nicole's impending alcohol fetal ridden child (I hope not) to continue.

Live, Love and Breathe Entertainment. I know I do.

I know what killed Lindsay Lohan's career

It's been a really long time since my last post but what's a better time to write a new blog than Lindsay crisis time. This weekend I decided to support the Lindsay's coke habit by going to see her movie I Know Who Killed Me. Please promise me right now that you will not pay to see this movie, in fact if you are offered the chance to see it for free don't even take that. What a waste of two hours. Lohan has made about six or seven movies included the Parent Trap and two of them she plays identical twins. This movie was like eight disjointed movies put together, each part being worst than the next. I honestly thought that Lindsay was a good actress or could be one and that would save her in the end but I was really, really wrong. In a movie with bad acting, bad writing and bad directing it's no wonder that the movie that supposedly cost $35 million to make only drew in $3.4 million this weekend. She better hopes that she gets to hide out in jail to avoid the embarrasment that this movie will cause. Whoever from the Washington Post said that this movie was "a credible piece of pop entertainment of the hottie-in-distress genre" and says, "Lohan brilliantly brings off her double turn" must have been hitting the crack pipe just like one of Lohan's alter egos in the movie. The movie tied up little loose ends and left at least me wondering why there was a consistent and very constant theme of the color blue throughout the movie. Perhaps the best part was being able to see Lohan's stripper character with a stump leg and arm for most of the movie. It's sad to say that I don't think her career can be revived.
On a complete seperate note, there is a new trailer available for an untitled J.J. Abrams project directed by his Felicity co-creator Matt Reeves. While the preview doesn't give much it looks very well directed and I am a huge fan of J.J. so check it out:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/11808/
My favorite person Nicole Richie is going to be sitting down for a one on one interview with Diane Sawyer this week to address pregnancy rumors and her DUI, even though isn't she going to jail for four days? I hope this doesn't mess up the interview!
Last week I made one of the best purchases ever. The OK! magazine with Britney Spears on the cover. FANTASTIC! That bitch is crazy! I think K-Fed is actually the better parent in this situation. One thing is for sure, if her and Lindsay don't clean up their ways one of them will be the next Anna Nicole.
Live, Love and Breathe Entertainment. I know I do.

Couture Cleanup

One might think that Naomi Campbell is on her way to a benefit...but no she's just leaving community service. The crazy phone thrower came to all five days of community service in designer duds and platform heels. This is obviously appropriate attire to clean up a garage in New York. If I was employed by E! already I would have been there on the scene and would have great pictures but alas I am not yet. I actually very surprised that Naomi didn't throw a broom at one of her fellow sanitation workers. Also, if she thinks she won't be back there within the next year that crazy bitch is sadly mistaken.
In my last post I said that Christmas was happening sooner than I thought. I was very wrong. The baby daddy of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter have not been revealed yet. A judge ordered that DNA samples be given but the results have still not been revealed. However, the autopsy results for Anna Nicole have been revealed. Her death was ruled as an accidental overdose. Perez Hilton released a list of all of the drugs that were her in her system at the time and based on the list I find it hard to believe that it was accidental. The list includes: - Trichloroethanol (a sedative and hypnotic)
- Trichloroacetic acid (treatment of warts, including genital warts)
- Diphenhydramine hydrochloride (an antihistamine and sedative)
- Clonazepam (aka Klonopin; used for treating anxiety)
- Diazepam (muscle relaxant, used for treating anxiety, insomnia)
- Nordiazapam (sedative)
- Temazepam (a sedative and hypnotic)
- Oxazepam (a muscle relaxant and sedative)
- Lorazapam (anti-nausea, sedative, muscle relaxant)
Six sedatives seems like a whole lot to me. Unfortunately, it seems as though the main cause was a broken heart. In other Anna Nicole news, production on a feature film based on her life is already underway although who will play Anna has not yet been decided.
Britney Spears had a long rehab stay of about 25 days and seems to already be cured! Yeah, so is Lindsay. Lindsay has been spotted partying and drinking all over New York and LA since she was released from her treatment facility. I honestly hope she gets her act together but right now it's not looking very likely.
That's all I have for today. Please watch my Soap Opera preview. The show is called The Hot and the Bothered:
http://pages.emerson.edu/Students/S/Shaina_Goelman/hotandbothered.mov
Live, Love and Breathe Entertainment. I know I do.

Is Pax Thien really an improvement?

Ok, so I know it might be hard to tell (I know I had trouble) with who this is but it's FERGIE! Guess she must be hitting the crystal meth pipe again to be looking like this. Very unfortunate, nobodies london bridge is going to be falling for her.

Angelina Jolie has added a fourth child to her family. Pax Thien was welcomed into the family on Thursday when his adoption ceremony took place. So Angelina's new foreign child was named Pham Quang Sang but Angelina thought that she'd give a more American name that other kids his age could pronounce and went with Pax Thien. I mean John or Jim was just to common right? And she wanted to make sure everyone knew that he was adopted. So I'm thinking next the baby will be coming from an African country, Zahara needs someone that looks like her. I'm sure the adoption papers are being filed for baby number 5 as I write this.

A good idea for your first week out of rehab is to go to as many clubs as possible and be photographed drinking champagne. Just ask Lindsay, thats what she learned in AA. That means Britney must be doing really well. Speaking of Lindsay, she's rumored to be dating Jude Law, ew? Almost as gross as Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. I mean fo reals, John Mayer is wayyyyy to good for her. I'm done with the cutsey pictures of them.

Kind of old news but how many of you really hope that Tom Brady is a daddy times 2. I know I do, it's just so great.

One of my favorite shows and a show that is very close to my heart, Veronica Mars, looks like it might be on the chopping block. Please people protest this, it's so smartly written and produced. It needs another chance. So as soon as you're done reading this and leaving me a comment please go to eonline and look into Kristin Veitch's Save One Show where she helps save a show this season.

The next season of The Simple Life will be taking place at a fat camp. Now, I can't imagine who would allow this to take place but I see so many politically incorrect events happening. I think it's crossing a line to let Paris and Nicole around a barrage of fat kids. The joke possibilities are endless and I'm sure beyond cruel. I don't see this being even a little funny. Don't watch even though I'm not worried.

Christmas is coming early this year, Anna Nicole Smith's baby's daddy is being revealed on Tuesday! YAY! so stay tuned for more about that.

Live, Love and Breathe entertainment. I know I do.

Cause one ain't enough...

Madge is not aging well at all. Go cry for her Argentina and then get her some botox or something. Liz Hurley and new husband Arun Nayar are getting married for the second time. What is with the multiple weddings? Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson had four weddings but it still ended up in only one divorce. Maybe multiple weddings aren't such a good idea. Plus the more money that you put towards your weddings, the less money you have to argue over in divorce court.

Speaking of one too many, Angelina Jolie has offically filed adoption papers in Vietnam. Now Angelina, your little Shiloh is not even a year old yet. It is NOT necessary to have a new child every year. Be happy with the three you already have. I also find it interesting that in all of the pictures of the family only two out of the three kids are always spotlighted. Can we never see the whole family? Brad Pitt has said that they want a whole soccer team of kids, oh Brad you kill me! A soccer team that represents every color in the rainbow, cute. There are also a lot of orphaned kids in the United States, Angelina's country that she might want to think about helping out.

Sometimes rehab isn't just for healing, sometimes it's for shopping. Just ask Britney Spears. While rehab Britney went on an online shopping spree with LA boutique intuition. I figured that by joining rehab Brit-Brit would focus on getting better, but getting better is so much more funner when you have something cute to wear!

I was watching TV the other day, shocker I know and I saw a fantastic commercial. This commerical was for Dancing with the Stars and at the end they focused on Heather Mills saying that the only thing she was truly worried about was, "losing her leg". Now who cares about who wins the competition, let's take bets on when her leg will fall off. It's truly great television if in the middle of one her dances she has to stop because her leg has flown off into the audience. In fact, if I were Heather Mills I would stage my leg falling off. America couldn't vote off a cripple.

Sienna Miller was quoted in a newspaper saying that she's a huge fan of recreational drugs and that her favorite is magic mushrooms. Well Sienna, good for you but you know that saying things like this probably isn't the best idea. We don't need to know that you're drugged a lot and people will have a poorer opinion of you. Keep that mouth shut girl!

On E!s Daily 10 today, probably one of the more annoying shows on TV, they featured a look into Kim Kardashian's closet. You might be asking yourself, who is Kim Kardashian? And that is a completely valid question. The short answer is no one. She dated Nick Lachey for a little bit and more recently is known for having a sex video with Brandy's brother Ray Jay. The best part of the show came when Kim showed off one of her purses and said to the camera, "If you remember when I wore this..." I found this laughable because why would we remember that since we don't know who she is. The answer to that Kim, is no I don't remember that.

That's all I have for right now.

Live, Love and Breathe entertainment. I know I do.

I cried...

So normally I know I feature celebrity pictures but I'm on my way so I thought I'd start showcasing myself now haha. The Oscars fell on my birthday this year and while I was very excited I also was nervous. I take awards shows very seriously and if the wrong person won, it could have ruined the night. When J-Hud won, the night took a turn for the worse. That girl has won to many awards. She was very good in Dreamgirls but let's be real, did she really deserve to beat Cate Blanchett? NO! Also, is she ever going to be in anything again that's worth while at least? probs not. It was not a good award.

As the Best Director awards approached I got more and more nervous. Martin Scorsese who from now on will be known as Marty deserved it more than anything, I knew that it was his year but the Academy has always been known for taking it away from the person who should have actually won. When the awards was being announced my friends sat nervously on the couch and as they called good ole' Marty's name we jumped up in excitement and as the title of my blog suggests, I did in fact cry. It made up for the fact that J-Hud won (not really, but I'll pretend) Then, to further the excitement of the night The Departed won, which I LOVEEEEED! All in all, it was a good birthday because of those two awards.

I really have nothing else to say right now because I was not at all surprised about Helen Mirren and even though I wanted Leo to take it home I knew that Forrest Whitaker would. So congrats to the winners but not J-Hud. I will be writing to the Academy and they might take it away from her. Thanks to my friends and family for the best birthday ever. And finally, if you read the blog please please please comment on it!

Live, Love and Breathe entertainment. I know I do.

You do know you have children, right?

Alright, Britney has possessed me to write two blogs in two days. The once cute lovable pop star that served as an idol to many girls (I'm pretty sure I used to choreograph dances to her songs) has done it again. Spears checked herself into rehab yesterday only to check herself right back out today. At least it beats the two hours she was in a different rehab center last weekend. This girl needs an intervention fo reals! Rumor is that Spears shaved her head because K-Fed was going to court order her to have her hair tested for drugs because drugs remain in hair follicles the longest. She does realize that then shaving her head proves that she definitely had drugs in her system. Part of me wants K-Fed to get the kids, which is saying a whole lot. I don't think that either of them are actually going to take care of the kids but seeing how Britney is just spiraling downwards, it seems like a dangerous idea to keep the children within reach. This story is really just sad and it seems that another Anna Nicole Smith story is in the works.

Do you know who Brody Jenner is? Most of my regular readers probably don't and probably don't know what The Hills is either. So...The Hills is a spin off of MTV's Laguna Beach. I really like it because it's extremely trashy. Brody Jenner is on it and plays on of the boys that the star Lauren Conrad is dating. Previously Brody has been linked to Kristen Cavalleri and Nicole Richie. In next month's issue of Detail's magazine Brody thought it would be a good idea to make America hate him and realize what an idiot rich kids are by releasing the following statements:

Spencer gave Brody invaluable advice on who to date:"Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh--, bro. You'll be, like, a f---ing hero to America."

On his relationship with Lauren Conrad: "Basically," says Jenner, 23, "I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills."

Basically, He's really smart. Spencer is his best friend/stylist/publicist/agent/manager/sleazebag, another winner. First of all, why he would think to release these statements are beyond me. Second, why did he think people would want to know who he was? Most important, why would Detail's have an article about him? come on!

Today, the future of TV came to a grinding halt when ABC announced that they would be making a Grey's Anatomy spin-off starring Kate Walsh who plays Addison Shepherd, yawn! She is the worst part of the show so it should excite me that she will no longer be on the show but it upsets me when networks make bad decisions and this I know is a bad one. If her character is boring on Grey's why would she suddenly become more interesting on her show? There will be a two hour special episode that will introduce her show, serving as a pilot and if it does well than the ABC will announce it on their fall schedule. I urge you all to NOT watch this show even though ABC's back up options don't sound much better. This does not look good for the upfronts if networks are already making bad decisions. My heart palpitations are starting now. I just can't wait until these decisions become mine and I am able to laugh in the face of people that pitch me bad ideas.

That's all I have for now. Congratulations to Marcia Cross, she finally popped. Don't become the next Britney Spears and buy me lots of presents for my impending birthday.

Live, Love and Breathe entertainment. I know I do.